That’s THE question, isn’t it? Are we supposed to take each and every step in life after giving it a proper thought and analyzing the good and bad outcomes? Or are we supposed to let it go and let life take its course?
If you had asked me a year ago whether I regretted anything I had done or not done in my life, I would have definitely said no. But, if you ask me this question now, I would give you a long list which will take you a hell lot of time to finish reading.
A year ago I had an ‘I don’t regret anything’ attitude. I would take rash decisions and laugh about it later. But today, when I come to think of it, I just cannot afford to take hasty decisions at all. I think I get it now how ‘grown-ups’ think.
After some self-analysis and days of sulking, I realize now, that I had a poor attitude towards life. People, with whom I have talked about this, say that maybe moving to a different city gave me a perspective. And I feel the same as living in a different part of the country has made me step out of my shell, the shell where I felt the most comfortable, cared for and especially at home. But, I feel comfortable even after stepping out of my comfort zone.
I have lost countless opportunities because of lack of perspective; like, not taking an internship because I didn’t want to miss classes, leaving an internship in between because they were asking too much from me, the list goes on.
Would I go back and rectify my mistakes and take up lost opportunities? To some extent, yes. But, if I had done it all earlier, would I be screaming ‘eureka’ and discussing it with my roommates? Not at all!
I regret many things I didn’t do but what’s the point of racking my brain over it and being upset about it? The only thing one can do is not to commit the same mistake and crying over it years later.
On a personal level, I think I have made quite a lot of progress; I am almost an ambivert now, I am able to make eye contact with people I have just met (long enough to creep them out) and I don’t fumble while talking in front of an entire class. I know there are still so many things I need to work on and also am aware that I need to fasten this process because in a few months I’ll be working. You don’t grow up in a day. I am going to let life take its course but mind you, that doesn’t mean I am not going to work towards it; I definitely will.
The question still remains, whether to go with the flow or not?
I read somewhere: ‘Only dead fish go with the flow’ so why not mix both of them?
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