Death and Loss

It was 3 am on a cold January night and my home phone was continuously ringing. Being a lazy person I thought that whoever it was will call back tomorrow, but the phone continued ringing. After the 7th bell my sister picked it up and suddenly she answered in panicked voice. She called for my mom and dad and asked them to immediately go downstairs. It was my grandmother on the phone calling us downstairs to see what happened to my grandfather who collapsed on the bed after drinking water.

My parents and sister went downstairs to check on my grandfather and I on the other hand was half asleep. I could clearly hear the panic in everybody’s voice but I didn’t move a muscle to get up. I thought that it’s nothing serious and is like the other days when my grandfather would throw a tantrum at night. My mother came in my room asking me to get up and I did the same reluctantly. After splashing my face with some water I went downstairs and saw my grandfather lying on the bed. I didn’t know why but I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach about this. He was not waking up so we decided to take him to the hospital. Me and my dad picked him up and carried him to the car as my grandmother called a friend of hers as she was a bit scared. Mom and dad took him to the hospital while me, my sister were there with our grandmother.  We both went to a room and lay on the bed as it was around 3:30 am and we were sleepy, but sleep did not occur to us. We both lay there on the bed with our backs to each other so that we would not see each other crying. I was praying for my grandfather to be fine but there was a part deep inside which knew that something was wrong. Half an hour passed and we did not receive any call from my parents. As I could not take it anymore I decided to call my father. As he picked up I asked him what happened and all he answered was “no”. At first I was confused as to what “no” meant but later I realized the meaning. I only told my sister about it as I was forbidden to tell this news to my grandmother.

I was not able to believe it; in my mind I was sure that it was a nightmare. I said to myself that I will only believe it once they will come home. 15 minutes later my parents and uncle and aunt arrived. Watching my mother crying made it all real. I was not ready to move from my room. I was standing at the same spot and was not ready to believe that my grandfather with whom I spent 18 years of my life was no more. Just yesterday he was eating his favorite food, we were cracking jokes and within a second he was gone, just like that. I just couldn’t say or think about the word ‘die’ in context with my grandfather, it sounded so wrong. I just couldn’t take it and I stormed to my room and I slept.

When I opened my eyes at five in the morning I saw my cousins in the room. All of them wore sad faces. That was obvious, even though me and my sister were the ones who lived with their maternal grandfather, the effect was the same on them too if not more. The very day in the morning I was supposed to go back to my university but going back to college was the last thing on my mind.

The day before all of this happened, me and my grandfather had bit of an argument which I till this date regret. People said that he died a peaceful death as he was not suffering from any illness as such. Sure, he was developing amnesia and was a heart patient but he was just fine. As this is a good thing that he suffered from nothing painful it is also makes me feel bad as he was ‘just fine’. What could have suddenly happened to him if he was fine?

Your parents’ give you birth, scold you, love you and would do anything for you. But your grandparents do much more than that as you are their kids’ kids. My grandfather loved me, sometimes scolded me, he even spoilt me by feeding me loads of ice cream every day. My maternal grandparents were the people with whom I and my sister spent most of their time as my parents work and sometimes they are not able to take out time for us. My grandfather used to pick me up from school when I was feeling ill, he was the one to take me to the doctor when I scraped my knee.

It’s been four months since he left us but it looks like all of those things happened just yesterday. The pain of losing a person you adored and loved from the bottom of your heart is the worst. That day I realized that I should have talked to him more and went for a walk in the park more often with him.

Even though he is not here with his family anymore, he will always be in our hearts, memories and pictures. He was the simplest and the nicest man I have ever known and will ever know. I am glad that he was a part of my life and I got to live with him as many children do not have that luxury and blessing to live with their grandparents. I always take an extra scoop of ice cream just for him; I eat one piece of potato more just for my grandfather.

A tribute to my grandfather!

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